Thursday, March 28th

This morning began after breakfast with a class called, "Feeding the Seven Hungers".  We discussed the seven ways we 'feel' hunger and whether or not they are really telling us if we are hungry or not.

1. Eyes - Seeing foods often make us think we are hungry.  (i.e. passing a cupcake shop for me!)
2. Nose - Smells can trigger a feeling of hunger
3. Mouth - Can water when you see certain foods
4. Stomach - This is a location that we should trust when it tells us it is hungry
5. Cellular - Another location we need to learn to trust.  (i.e. think of when you crave foods you don't normally crave as markers from our body telling us we need certain nutrients)
6. Mind - This is the one we wrestle with the most, but can never fill with food.  (Just meditate on that for a moment....)
7. Heart - Another thing we can't fill or please with food.  Often if we are feeling hunger in our heart it has nothing to do with food.  We asked our hearts today what we were truly hungry for and my answer was Joe.  I miss him terribly.

Another thing that came up in this class was that another participate mentioned that she was feeling really stressed being in her second week of the program.  That got me thinking and I raised my hand and explained my week reflections with her.  I said that the first week for me was so exciting and enlightening.  It brought me that hope that I often get when I am about to start a new diet.  The second week made me doubt myself and recall all of my past failures as I tried to practice the program.  (I have failed in the past, I will fail at this. What will I do when I fail again?  How can I possibly endure more failure?)  The third week I really drew into myself and ruminated on what I had learned and was currently practicing.  And now my fourth week, I have come to realize that this 'program' is not a diet.  It is not a 'program'.  It is an invitation to move back into my body.  The leader Barbara pointed out that we are on a path and we will stray from that path often but it is quite simple to hop back on the path.  I have also used this week to make my plans for going home.  My body and mind have been living on a natural/real, balanced foods plan for 4 weeks now...it's created a new habit.  I am noticing my hunger now.  I notice when I am full (do I still overeat at some meals?  Yes, but I am in training. At least I notice it now.).  I have taken back my power from the chocolate chip cookie because guess what, I have given myself permission to have it at ANY TIME for the REST OF MY LIFE!  So liberating!  I am thankful I have taken this entire month to fully go through the process.  I couldn't possibly have come to these conclusions if I only stayed a week.

I went to my final (sad face) aquatics class today and enjoyed it as usual.  For lunch we had Dangerous Dave's Fried Chicken!  It was awesome!  (Dave is the chef.)  It was in little chicken tender pieces (my fav) and not exactly fried, but amazing.  We also had gluten-free corn bread, which was also awesome.

After lunch, I went to a class called, "Befriending the Body, Befriending the Mind".  The discussion topic was grace.  What that means to us and how we can bring grace into our lives.  The instructors, Barbara and Elisa, had made reflection/affirmation cards a while back and they have been printed professionally with quotes and black and white images.  They displayed them around the room and asked us to find one that spoke to us about grace.  I chose one with what looks like a public water fountain and it says,

Imagine your body

surrounded & supported

by water.

Invite the water to move you.

Move the water.

Be moved by the water.

Today, bring your

awareness to the way you

flow through life.

After we chose our card, they asked us to free write about the card on the topic of grace.  Here is what I wrote:

This card speaks to me of grace

because of the feeling of peace I get

when I am swimming in a calm pool or lake.

The world is quiet around me

and I can float softly.

I feel my arms and legs and fingers 

move through the pressure of the water.

I am aware of my body

and the movements I make.

My muscles relax

and I can float on the surface with ease.

When I swim with the water,

I feel strong

and it raises my spirit.

After class, I went to my room and finished the fifth and final thing I had on my to do list this week.  I created my "This Month Belongs to Me!" cards that I posted a little earlier today.  I also did some laundry and will probably start packing tonight!  The end is nigh.