Are There Shortcuts Back to My Path?

After two full days of being back to my life after my trip to Florida, I still feel like I am in a fog.  I did get up and go to aquatics this morning and I did stick to my organic, real foods today, so why isn't my energy and mood back to where it should be?

Well, for one, the day didn't go as easily as I had hoped it would.  Joe and I went to the DMV to get our Colorado licenses and plates.  First of all, you can't do both at one location in Denver.  It's one or the other.  So we went to get our licenses first.  Unfortunately because my Indiana license didn't have my full middle name, I had to drive the 40 minute round trip back home to get my passport.  What a pain.  Not to mention that this all happened roughly around lunch time and my bad mood over the inconvenience of going back home did not help my hungry body.  While at home, I had a half turkey sandwich while standing in the kitchen, far from mindfulness, and that was it.  I did have some seeds and nuts in my bag, which helped.  I missed having my lunch at my table with my big salad.

When Joe and I finally returned home for good, I was just tired, so I took a nap...longer than I had hoped.  I was big into naps before I started on my new path, so I don't like being back to this place.  For dinner I made beef sliders, potatoes, and salad.  I had decided to cut back on our red meat at dinner by cooking it only once every two weeks.  Well, now I am ready to cut it back to once a month.  I had two sliders, a big salad, and one bite of potato and I feel drained again.

I know it took me a whole month at Green Mountain to get me to where I was before Florida, but is it possible that 4 days away really threw me this off track?  The book I am currently reading is "Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth.  She has a chapter about our desire to bolt when things get hard.  There is a section where she writes, "I don't want to do what I need to do to work with it.  I thought I did but now that I'm here I've changed my mind.  I'd rather go on another diet, I'd rather pretend that this is all about willpower and eating the right foods."

This section really spoke to me because I was actually having that thought yesterday!  Well, I don't want to start over...I'd rather just do a little diet to kick start me back to my path.  Once the diet makes me feel better, I will be good again and listen to my body and eat natural foods and so on.  Talk about the wrong way of thinking!  It's like someone is selling me a map to get back to my path, but that person is scamming me and their map isn't even in the right state.  It's amazing how quickly my diet mentality can creep up on me.  And why shouldn't it?  I've been feeding into it since I was in elementary school.

I guess what I am really trying to say tonight is that I can't hop back onto my path when my detour took me so far away.  I do know that I am heading back in the right direction and it won't take me the whole month I had at GM to get there again, but it might take me a couple more days.  Until I am there, I am continuing to give myself ridiculously small goals and I am seeing that every moment is a choice.  Tomorrow I will continue to eat my organic foods, but will cut out meat for my lunch and/or dinner or both.  I have to go to another DMV to get my car's plates, but when I finish, I hope to go for a walk.  Even if it is short.  It is supposed to be sunny and I think my body is craving that fresh, sunny air.

I hope my fogginess will be lifted soon and I will be back into my stride.  I am thankful for small steps because they stop me from just falling down in the mud and quitting on myself.  Spring is coming and my shiny path can be seen in the sunlight.  It's calling to me.  I'm coming!