A New Focus

I apologize for not blogging in a while.  I just didn't feel like I had much to say.  I have been focusing on work and getting back to one of my loves, creating mosaics out of magazine clippings.  I feel that I have had a breakthrough in my art and I want to spend every waking moment on it.  I have neglected this part of me for a very long time due to my previous job of constantly travelling, and so I am happy to reconnect with my creative self.

There are many ways to connect to ourselves.  When talking about health, women like me often find it hard to focus on self love and acceptance.  I need to constantly remind myself that it doesn't matter if I am not ready to move toward body positivity and love, it only matters that I move away from self-hate and criticism.

I am many months into my journey now and this month and last I feel like I haven't made many strides can be seen on a scale, measuring tape, or my clothes.  It starts to weigh down on me the same way neglecting a diet has done in the past.  I need to remind myself of my journey and how it will never end no matter if I have a few down months or weeks.

This week I am trying not to focus on how I can better myself through health.  Thankfully I am okay saying this because I know that I have created really great habits that I am sticking too.  I eat most meals at home, eat natural foods, drink lots of water, and completely stay away from cheese and milk.  Yes, I still constantly struggle with moving my body, but that is going to take years, not months to make a habit for me.

So I am putting my focus into other aspects of my life.  When I focus on my creative self, like I have done recently, I have a whole new out look on who I am.  I never wanted to create mosaic portraits because I was afraid of my ability, but something called to me recently to just try it and I did and I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome.  With every new portrait I do, I find myself feeling proud and happy and impressed with myself.  While that could sound a little self indulgent, as a person who admittedly has low self-esteem, it's just so freeing to fall in love with a part of myself again.  I find myself saying, "If I can be good at this part of my life, maybe I can be good at other parts of my life."

In about an hour, I am headed off to a spa to focus on myself in yet another way.  My best friend bought me a gift certificate (I'm sad to say a long time ago and I am just now getting around to it) to a local spa and I am using it to get a hot oil scalp massage, a neck, back and shoulder massage, and a pedicure.  If I can't quite make my body feel good right now through exercise, then I will make my body feel good through relaxation and pampering.  I will focus on feeling good about myself in another way.

If I can feel good about parts of me, then I can eventually feel good about most or all of me.  What can you do to feel good about yourself?  Is there a part of you that you are neglecting that you are proud of that could pull you out of self-hate and criticism?  Sometimes we need to refocus our energy on other things for a while to bring clarity back to the parts of our lives where we struggle most.