I Make Muffins for My Roadblocks

Today my family and I had some very sad news.  My uncle, Jack, passed away after a 10 month battle with pulmonary fibrosis.  The last month has been a roller coaster of emotions for us all when one day would bring hope and the next day would bring despair.  I am thankful he is at peace now and he will be greatly missed by his family and friends.  On Thursday, I will be flying down to Vero Beach, Florida for the funeral and will return to Denver on Monday.

While I know my eating and activity levels will be lacking, I am thankful for what I have learned thus far because it tells me that I don't have to be (nor can I be) perfect all the time.  I can take my time in Florida to focus on my family and the life of my uncle.  If I happen to make a few good food decisions or am able to walk or swim while I am there, then that will be a happy bonus.

I do plan to go to my aquatics as normal tomorrow because I know it will help put my stresses at bay. I will then go to Whole Foods and see what kind of snacks I can come up with and take with me on my journey.  After laundry and packing, I am also going to try to fit in working out my meal plan for the next week.  I'd like to place my food order before I leave and have it delivered to Joe on Monday morning so when I return Monday afternoon, I will be able to relax knowing my healthy food choices will be waiting for me.

After I heard the news of Jack's passing, I bought my plane ticket to Florida and then I was antsy and hungry.  But I didn't seem to be physically hungry for food.  Rather, I felt emotionally hungry.  At one point in the day, I said to Joe that I wanted some chocolate and peanut butter.  We didn't have any in the house, so I just ruminated on that feeling for a while.  Eventually, I had a bowl of grapes and strawberries.  As I ate them, I knew I wasn't physically hungry for them...but I ate anyway.  We can't eliminate our bad habits over night and emotional eating is definitely one of my bad habits.  I was glad to have at least acted in a way that wouldn't make me feel guilty later.

Another thing I tend to do in these type of situations is bake.  Not only is it a comforting experience for me, but the end result is a comfort food.  Joe and I went to a bookstore yesterday and he bought me three new cookbooks.  One is full of meatless recipes, one focuses on beans, and one is about high altitude baking.  I had been thinking about making blueberry muffins this week because I had bought blueberries earlier and I really don't tend to eat fresh blueberries.  So I decided to go ahead and make the muffins.

I used organic flour, real blueberries, and organic cane sugar, just to name a few ingredients.  Thankfully, the recipe called for a very small amount of sugar (my biggest trigger) and the muffins turned out beautifully.  They aren't very sweet at all (not blueberry cake as most American muffins are these days) and the sweet comes from the blueberries themselves.  Plus, Joe loves them because he has never been big on sweets anyway.  They are enough of a comfort to me that I can have one, but they aren't packed with sugar so I don't crave a second one.

Aren't they beautiful?

Finally, Joe and I were supposed to go to a friend's house this evening for dinner and games, but I wasn't feeling up to it, so I made the dinner I was planning for tomorrow.  I made chicken nuggets, roasted sweet potatoes and green beans.  The chicken nuggets were a big hit and didn't need any sauces.  They were incredible by themselves.  I actually enjoyed eating a nugget and sweet potato together, which kind of mimicked nuggets with ketchup because the sweet potato filled that sweet need...and it was way better than ketchup.  (The perfect bite.)  The nugget recipe is to the right of this page and I highly suggest you try it.

Road Blocks

I know I've said this before, but the easiest way for me to explain or visualize this journey that I and others are on is to say that we are walking along a path to health.  During our walk, we will experience many road blocks along the way.  The road blocks can come in different forms.  They can be happy like celebrating a birthday, going on vacation, or a simple social night out with friends.  They can be stressful like relationship problems, moving, work stresses, or financial concerns.  They can be debilitating like a sickness or a fitness injury.  They can be simple like the cupcake you didn't expect to magically appear on your desk.  Or they can be devastating like a death in the family.

When we hit these road blocks, we often need to detour off of our path.  (Unless of course the road block is small enough for you to use your new, stronger body and can hurdle over it.  Good for you!)  But let's be honest...most road blocks will require the unexpected detour.  We can be on this detour for minutes, days, weeks, or months.

Happy, small, and stressful detours generally have a timeline so you know when they will be over and you can see the original path easily enough that you can hop back on your path.  As if your road block simply put you on that little gravel path that's a foot away from the paved path...the ones the runners take.  You can say to yourself, "I am going to hop off my path tonight so I can enjoy this time with my friends."  Or, "I cannot even think about my path right now until this project/move/conflict is over."  But when those things do end it's just a little jump back over to your paved road.

Debilitating and devastating road blocks are much harder to overcome.  Especially if you have an extended sickness or injury, or your loved one is in the hospital or sadly passes away.  Not only are you no longer on your paved path, but the road block forced you to take a 90 degree turn away from your path and you just keep moving further and further away from your path.  The longer you are on this new path, the harder it is to look back and see your nicely paved path.  Trees, houses, and other people block your view and it begins to feel like you will never get back.

But here is the good news.  That new path you are on is not a one way street.  It is also not a train track that you are tied too.  You can turn around!  You can stop walking when able, pivot your feet, and turn your body 180 degrees and just start walking.  I know that it will seem impossible to walk that whole way back to your path, but you know what?  You've done it before.  Before you found this nice paved path, you were wandering aimlessly through the woods trying out other people's paths and tripping or falling down on the jagged rocks.  But one day you saw the nicely paved path and you started to move toward it.  It probably took you a while to get to it, but you did.  And that is what you can do again.

Before you know it, you will have your stride back.  You may not even notice the moment you made that 90 degree turn back onto your paved path, but that is because while you were walking back to your path, it was slithering back to you.  It missed you and it will come back to you...every time.  Especially if you let it.

Other's paths that often have jagged cracks and stones for you to trip all over.  It's easier to stick to your own nicely paved path.  Your pace is the pace!

Health at Every Size

Today I finished reading, "Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight" by Dr. Linda Bacon.  You may recall that I purchased this book at Green Mountain and I am thankful I did.  The book is very much in line with the teachings at Green Mountain and I enjoyed spending the last three weeks to really process and ruminate on these teachings.

I must confess that there were parts of the book that frustrated me.  The idea behind "Health at Every Size" is that we can be healthy, literally at every size.  Um...what?  Aren't we supposed to lose weight to be healthy?  Well, the truth of the matter is that some of us are genetically predispositioned to be a little heavier than others.  And at the end of the day, it is the people who have body fat that are generally healthier than our thinner neighbors.  Body fat helps to defend us against diseases, it's important if you are trying to have a baby, and it literally protects us.  So does that mean that my current weight is my set point?

Set Point was another confusing concept to me.  The basics are that our bodies have a 10 to 20 pound weight range where it is happiest and that is our body's set point.  This was difficult for me because my body has been hovering around this high weight range for so long...so does that mean my set point is way up here?  No.  It means that I haven't allowed my body to work as efficiently as it needs to so it has had to create a new higher set point...for the time being.  Now that I am feeding my body real foods, mostly plant based, and I am moving in ways that make me happy (i.e. aquatics and walking), I am giving my body a chance to heal itself and hopefully go back to it's ideal set point.  That also means that I don't have a say so in where it goes.  If I find myself hovering around a certain 10-20 pound range for an extended period of time, then I have to accept that as my new set point.  Even if it isn't my ideal number on a scale or pants size.  I have to focus on the bigger picture and whether or not I feel happy, healthy, and strong.

For those of you considering reading the book (and I highly suggest you do), go into it with an open mind.  Wide open.  It is not a weight loss book.  It does not promise that you will lose any weight.  But it will help you to open your eyes to the Diet Myths we have been told our whole lives.  It will help you to accept the body you have.  It will help you understand what it means to enjoy a wide variety of real foods, primarily plants.  It will help you to listen to your body's needs such as hunger and it's desire to move.  It will help you to hold your head up high in the body you have RIGHT NOW.  It will help you to free your mind of the restrictions we have been giving ourselves for years and it will help you to enjoy food and movement once again.

Join me in being free.  You won't regret it.

Juice Attempt #2

This morning I woke ready to try my second juice.  I felt really good about it and knew it would be good.  I used 3 carrots, an orange, an apple, and about 1/2" of ginger root.  Here is what it looked like fresh out of the juicer and in my fun pink cup.

It was much more enjoyable than yesterday's juice and I was able to finish it easily with my toast and honey peanut butter.  I do think that while the smell of fresh ginger is really awesome, I think it's throwing me off in my juicing.  I won't be putting it into my juice tomorrow and will see how it goes.

If you notice in the first picture, you can see all of the pulp that is left behind.  I know some people prefer to have those fibers in their smoothies, but I chose a juicer because I didn't want that pulp in my drink.  I was afraid that it would really turn me off and I wouldn't drink the smoothies.  So by using the juicer, my beverages are pulpless and easier for me to drink.  I decided to hang onto today's pulp because I'd like to make a carrot cake with some orange and apple flavoring this week.  So I put the pulp in a baggie and took out any seeds I could see or feel and put the pulp in the freezer.  I think it will make a kickass healthy carrot cake.

After lunch, I got my groceries delivered and took this photo of how beautiful and colorful they all were together!  So delicious.

Joe and I went for a walk today and took our books and a snack and hung out in Cheesman Park.  It was lovely.  For dinner we had some pasta with sauce and I added the veggies you can see sauteing below.  Onions, zucchini, yellow squash, and mushrooms.

Finally, I spent most of the day catching up on the book "Health at Every Size".  It's really interesting and I hope to have a full review later this week.  Happy Weekend Everyone!

Juice, The Great Unknown

This morning began with aquatics and Joe joined me!  I think he would have preferred to just swim laps, but he was happy to be in the pool.  I was glad he came with me.  It was fun.  When we got home, guess what was waiting for me at my door?!  My juicer!  Woo!

So Joe and I had lunch first and then went walking at the Denver Botanical Gardens (pictures at the end of the post) and then we stopped at Whole Foods so I could pick up some ingredients for my first juice.  Joe left for work and I got busy unpacking and starting my first juice.

I decided to make the Mean Green Juice from the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead".  I followed the recipe and first noticed the wonderful smells that came with each fruit addition.  Second, I noticed how powerful the juicer was!  It was so cool.  I had no idea an apple could disappear so quickly!  I was quite enjoying my new machine.  Third, I quickly realized that I made too much...that part is going to take some practice.  Below is the picture of my juice and juicer before my first taste.

I made sure to add my ice because everything is better cold.  And I took the inaugural sip and....um....gross.  All I could taste was the kale.  So I added some more ice and some honey and set it aside while I cleaned out the machine.  Then I tried the juice again and it wasn't as terrible this time.  It took me about an hour to drink and finish my juice and during that time I contemplated ways to make it better (less kale, smaller sample, more fruit, etc.) and I was enjoying it a little more near the end.  Plus, I spent a lot of that time reading the book I got with my juicer so I can learn better recipes that I might enjoy more.

I did read in this book that those who are new to juicing probably shouldn't start out with strong flavored plant foods like kale.  Oops!  I should be starting with easy fruit juices and as my taste buds get used to fresh juice, then I can get more adventurous.  So perhaps tomorrow for breakfast I will try a fruit only juice and I will try the Mean Green recipe again next week.  I am going to put together my meal plan now for next week and order my foods and get more fruits and veggies!  I won't give up on juicing yet.  I need to play with my juicer more anyway...it's fun.  Also, the book had some cool recipes for using or freezing the pulp to make things like apple sauce and carrot cake.  Cool!  Now, enjoy some lovely pictures I took at the Botanical Gardens.  Do it!  Now!

Stop Pressuring Me, Scale!

I committed to myself around week 2 of my stay at Green Mountain that I would stop weighing myself as often as I had been.  How many of you have woken up in a great mood, gotten on the scale, and then watched your mood fall quicker than the Drop Zone ride at the local amusement park?  It's so disheartening!  Especially if you are weighing yourself in daily.

We aren't meant to weigh-in so often.  Our bodies fluctuate often and any little thing can make those stupid little numbers go up or down.  Your body is retaining water!  You had too much salt 2 days ago!  Your muscles are growing and muscle weighs more than fat!  You're PMSing!  Your body just hates you today for no reason!  Way too many things to be thinking about.

It is so much harder when you are trying to lose weight to see those numbers on the scale.  It could be that you only lost 2 pounds in 2 weeks, you gained 0.5 pounds in a week, you stayed the same, you gained 2 pounds...all help to put you (well, me at least!) in a bad mood.  And for what?!  Wasn't I feeling good before I got on the scale?  Why can't that be my 'weigh-in' for the day?  If I were to weigh in on my feelings, mood, strength, energy, happiness, wouldn't that give me so much more information?  I (YOU) are more than a number on the scale.

Have you ever seen The Biggest Loser on TV?  I stopped watching it a few years ago because it just made my own journey seem impossible.  You mean, I have to work out like a maniac for 8 hours a day and starve myself to lose 15 pounds in a week?  No thank you.  One thing I learned recently that surprised me was that the contestants don't weigh in every seven days as the show has you believe.  It's closer to every 15 days!  Because they know that the numbers on the scale will be more 'exciting' after 15 days than 7 days.  And don't get me started on how quickly many of those contestants gain back all of their lost weight....

Anyway, so I have realized that when I have been getting bored, my mind starts to say, "Hey Beth...shouldn't you weigh in?  The scale is right there!  I bet you've lost so much weight!"  And I have to say back, "Stop pressuring me!  I feel great today!  I have so much energy.  I'm waking up before 8:30 AM on my own everyday.  I really enjoy my aquatics class.  My muscles feel strong.  I'm happy with all of the new organic food in my life.  That scale will NOT say what I want it to say."  I know curiosity will get the best of me, so I am allowing myself weigh in at the end of every month.  Weighing a month apart will give me a more accurate idea of how I am doing.  I will just need to recite to myself, "I am more than a number.  I am more than a number."  Over and over again so I can see what the scale says and MOVE ON.

When I left GM and got my monthly check up, I wasn't (not surprisingly) that excited about the new number on the scale.  I was super excited about the inches I had lost on my body.  Because if you think about it, that is something tangible that myself and others can see.  So I have ordered myself a measuring tape and will be checking my measurements at the end of the month as well.  But again, I will need to see the results and let it go.

I feel strong.  I feel energetic.  I feel happy.  I am open to the possibility of accepting myself as I am today.

New Exciting Things Are Happening

Joe and I had a really productive couple of days.  We ran some errands, unpacked a number of moving boxes, hung up our artwork, and really spiffed up the apartment.  The place looks great and so much more like home now.  What a great feeling.  And since we were so excited about our updated place, we invited some friends over for a game night!  I made my lentil soup and a salad for dinner and we had the leftover frozen cornbread that I made last week.  For dessert we had chocolate zucchini cake with strawberries.  Everyone seemed to really enjoy the dinner and no one said, "Hey! Where's the meat!" Thankfully, because I am trying to cut back on how much meat Joe and I are eating these days and the lentil soup was filling, perfect for four, and inexpensive to make!

This morning I went to my water aerobics class and man, they really worked us out today!  I was in the pool for 52 minutes and was at THR for 43!  I don't know if it was the pool or the busy couple of days I've had, but after lunch I was tired....so I napped.  (I know, I know...Beth, stop bragging that you get to work from home.)  Sorry.  But it was great and apparently what I needed.  Listening to my body is a new way of living for me, so it felt good to give it what it wanted.

Another thing that it wanted was those damn Reese's Eggs.  But Hallelujah! I have found a replacement.  Last week I ordered Natural Peanut Butter and Natural Honey Peanut Butter from my online grocery delivery and it was a brand called, Justin's.  I'm sure some of you have seen their products because they are sold nationally at Whole Foods.  Well, they are a Boulder, CO company and what I bought last week has been absolutely delicious!  I have the Honey Peanut Butter every morning on toast.  It keeps me full during my aquatics and I crave it when I wake up...it's that good.  So when I put in my order this past weekend, I noticed that Justin's has all natural peanut butter cups! In both dark and milk chocolate.  So I bought a pack of each and just had the dark chocolate ones.  OMG!  Amazing!  I'm never having Reese's again (blanket statement that may turn out to be false in the future...don't judge).  I encourage you to go out and try these if chocolate and peanut butter is one of your triggers too.  Delicious, and so much better for you because there is no fake ingredients in it.  They are still high in fat like Reese, but so much more worth it.  I really took my time on them because I wanted to enjoy every bite.  And I am sad to say that Reese's generally makes me feel like crap after I am done, and Justin's made me feel great.  Worth.  It.

Finally, I just purchased a juicer on Amazon.com.  It comes on Friday, so plan to read about that next adventure around that time.  It's my plan to replace my morning glass of milk with juice in the mornings so I can start my day with a rush of good nutrients.  I will start with the Mean Green Juice from "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and will have it with my toast with peanut butter.  Once I comfortable, I will branch out and see what happens next!  Stay tuned!