Sugar Addiction

There is a lot of news these days about the 'shocking' revelation that sugar is bad for us.  Not quite a surprise, but I am thankful people are starting to realize that the fat-free fad America was obsessed with for so many years caused so much more damage than good.  Food manufacturers made everything in the grocery aisle fat-free by adding a ton of sugar to processed foods to make sure they still tasted good.  While sugar is fat-free, the moment it enters the body, it becomes fat.  Eggs, avocado, and cashews aren't the culprit for our growing bellies...sugar is.  If you're interested in reading up on some of this, check out this article and this one.  Also, take a look at the FDA's new proposal for nutrition labels.  I especially like the line that says, "Added Sugars" because those are the culprits, not the natural sugars found in fruits.

The reason I bring this up is because I am a sugar addict.  I've known it for a long time.  In fact, between 1998 and 2000, I had given up added sugars all together.  I stopped eating Straight Up Sugars (SUS) with my mom and dad as a way to both get healthy and support my dad who was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes.  It helped me to lose about 60 pounds at the time and it didn't take long for me to just not care about sweets.  It was the very unexpected and tragic loss of my 2 year old cousin that gave both my mom and I the excuse to eat sugar again.  If I didn't think I was an emotional eater before that point, then I couldn't deny it anymore.

Fast forward to 2013.  My time at Green Mountain helped me to check my sugar cravings, but once the month was over, I found natural sweets to satisfy my cravings.  But as the year went on, I slowly allowed my self more and more processed SUS's.  And then the break-up happened.  It was all down hill from there.  Not only was I dealing with the break-up, but I was dealing with a break-up during the holiday season.  I joked to my sister that I had been on a straight carb and sugar diet when I saw her at Christmas.  Unfortunately, I wasn't exaggerating.  By the time my birthday rolled around in February, I was full on addicted to sugar.

Symptoms of addiction include (and I experienced all of these): tolerance (needing more sugar to satisfy), withdrawal, difficulty cutting down, social activities revolving around sugar, and becoming preoccupied with planning how to get the next sugar high.

This last one is what really hit me in confronting my addiction.  I would wake up in the morning saying I wouldn't have any SUS's that day and within hours, I was planning how I would get it because I needed it.  Usually, I would say, "Oh, I need to go to Walgreens to get contact solution."  Knowing that this meant I would get the contact solution and Reese's Hearts.  Or I would come up with an excuse to go to the grocery store so I could get a batch of fresh cookies that would likely be gone within 48 hours.

Other signs of addiction I was showing were: mood changes, changes in energy, changes in sleep patterns, weight gain, secretiveness, stashes of sugar.

Now, I know my addiction isn't as extreme as other addictions, but if you read some of those articles I linked above, it was just as harmful to my body as some other addictions.

So you can guess by my use of past tense, that I have been taking control of this addiction.  My mother turned me onto this book and I have been slowly making my way through it.  The Sugar Smart Diet goes into detail about the harms of sugar and then it lays out a 32 day plan to take control of sugar in your life.  The idea is to get to a point where you can enjoy sugar every now and then and not all of the time.  Knowing my past and addiction to sugar, I'm deciding to follow the plan through to Phase 2 and not complete Phase 3 which reintroduces sugar.  It's my plan to get to a place where I can make fruits my sweets and to avoid SUS's completely.  I don't trust myself around them.

What I like about the plan is that the first 5 days wean you off of sugar slowly so there was no cold turkey day.  I was able to work myself down and am now on day eight of the plan and at this phase I am sugar free (including fruit sugars and highly refined white flours).  Today is hard.  All I can think about is muffins and cookies and chocolate.  But I know what it means to keep moving forward.  I know I can get to a point again where SUS's don't tempt me.  I know I can because I've done it before.  Plus, I've had to give up dairy this year, which is something else I never thought I could do, and I have.  Once I can equate sugar with the bad ways it makes me feel and I am (hopefully) happy about all of the energy I am going to have then I won't want to go back.

I also find myself in a bit of a mourning period this week.  Thinking about all of the sweets I won't allow myself in the future.  It's hard.  Especially because one of the things I learned at Green Mountain was not to deprive yourself.  If you deny yourself something, you will likely binge on it.  But I can't look at sugar that way because of my addiction.  You wouldn't say to an alcoholic that they should have a single beer every now and then so they won't feel denied.  An addiction means all or nothing.

Bread for me is a gateway sugar drug.  Thankfully, there are breads out there that have very limited added sugar and are typically found in the artisan section of the bakery.  The kinds that are called something like "Seedsational" and need to be cut at home.  What's great about these is that I really enjoy them and they don't trigger that sugar need for me.  To better control these breads, I have decided to buy myself a bread maker and just make my own bread.  To me that is the best way for me to control my added sugars.  I'm sure there are plenty of recipes out there that I can make that require no sugar.  If I can control it, it won't control me.

So there is my confession for the week.  It's not easy to announce my addiction to everyone, but I know the support I will receive will help me get through this.  Also, I'd like to mention that my mom has been sugar free for like 25 days or so and is feeling great.  She has lost weight and has lost her sugar cravings completely.  She is my inspiration!

Horrifying Predictions

The World Health Organization has predicted that the number of cancer cases worldwide is expected to rise by 70 percent over the next 20 years.  It will go from the current rate of 14 million new cases a year to 25 million a year.  This prediction is based on the increasing use of tobacco, alcohol, and highly processed foods in countries with growing middle classes.

This is a really scary report that I honestly don't doubt.  I have seen the rise in cancer in my lifetime and am always shocked by how many people it effects within my own 'Six Degrees of Separation'.  As a non-smoker, limited drinker, I used to think that I was immune to things like cancer.  Don't get me wrong, I know I have my vices that have lead me to obesity and could lead to heart disease and other major complications, but for some reason, I've always felt I've had some sort of control over that and if I try hard enough, I can be better.  But I've thought, "I'm young... I will fix this tomorrow."  I guess what I'm saying is that my problem has a very distinct road map for getting there and then getting better.  Cancer is a bit more erratic in who it chooses.  We've all seen the smoking and drinking road map to cancer for some time, but highly processed foods?  That's the new, more frightening road map that many weren't expecting.  Me being one of them.

When I went to Green Mountain, one of the biggest eye openers for me was what I learned about processed foods.  For a chronic dieter like me, I've often had a hard time getting results from simply cutting calories, because it wasn't sustainable to deprive myself for extended periods of time.  When on programs such as Weight Watchers, I often relied upon highly processed substitutes so I could have more food for lower 'points'.  I didn't think about the chemicals or preservatives I was ingesting.  Quantity was more important than quality.  Green Mountain taught me that real/natural is always better than fake or processed even if it has more calories because real food will help you to feel fuller longer and your body will get the nutrients it needs.  By living on a mostly processed food diet for so long, I was nutritionally starving myself of the nutrients my body needed so it was constantly asking for more food... causing me to overeat. 

In my continued research on the subject, I learned more about how harmful all of those chemicals can be on a body and this latest report from the World Health Organization simply confirms my suspicions.  Eating a diet of highly processed foods leads to cancer. 

I'm not going to lie.  Since November, I have ignored my own words of wisdom (as I have confessed prior to this blog) and I have really stopped eating natural/whole foods with the exception of the occasional salad.  Now that I have refocused my activity efforts in preparation for my 5K in April, I need to recommit myself to eating better as well.  This report has really struck a nerve in me and has encouraged me to remember what I have learned this year.  I think I may re-watch "Hungry for Change" today (for the 100th time) as it was a huge part of my eye-opening experience. 

It's hard to make a lot of changes at once and it can be discouraging if you take on too much change at once and fail.  So I am going to start by asking myself these two questions everyday:

1. Can I see nature in every meal? 
2. What have I done today to prepare for my 5K in April?

The hardest part for me in 'starting over' yet again is taking small steps.  I always want to make big changes and expect to see big results immediately.  I just need to remind myself that I may never see a huge result like, "Never getting cancer."  That is seriously a result that I won't see come to fruition until the day I die.  Crazy.

Here We Go

Okay, I started moving again yesterday. I did my three strength training apps (sit ups, push ups, squats) yesterday and they were pretty easy. 

Today I found my way to the one and only indoor track in the Denver Park system and it was nice! Small, as I expected, but very nice. There wasn't any signage to say how long the track was, but I'm guessing 1/8th or 1/10th of a mile. I used my Charity Miles app to keep track of my miles and time. According to the app I did 3.1 miles in 47 minutes. So I'm not sure if I just confused my GPS by walking indoors in a circle, or the flat track really made a difference because if you recall, I ran the 5K (3.1 miles) in October in 52 minutes. 

While I did take it easy today by mostly walking, I did jog 6 of the laps intermittently. I really didn't expect to jog any, but the spirit moved me...literally. 

Two days down. Moving in the right direction. 

I'm Still Here

I know it's been a while since I have posted, but don't worry...I'm here.  I've just needed time.  Spending hours on the couch, watching TV, and eating bad foods isn't exactly the best way to spend my time, but in this time of transition, it's been something I've needed.

Thankfully, I have had two wonderful visits from friends to help pull me out of my funk.  First, my Green Mountain roommate and buddy, Julia, came for a week.  Together we checked out all of the Denver sites including Red Rocks where we walked the stairs.  It was beautiful that week, so we took advantage by walking when we could.  It was great to get out of the apartment and into the sun and to have a friend to confide in for the week.  Then last week, my Indy friend and high school buddy, Laura was here.  I took her to Red Rocks, Dino Ridge, we enjoyed a fancy afternoon of Tea at the Brown Palace and an evening at the theater and again, had some wonderful conversations.

I saw something this week that said friends are the gateway to happiness.  As someone who is still trying to find her way in a new town, I believe this 100%.  I am thankful to my friends who have come to visit me and to my new friends here in Denver.  Being around them really lift my spirits.  And, there is more to come.  Ellie is coming out in two weeks so we can be together for Valentine's Day, my birthday and the anniversary of Ellie's boyfriend, Jeff's death.  I'm looking forward being together during that week.  Also, I've been thankful to be able to hang out with Joe.  He's been my best friend for many years and I'm happy that we are able to still share that.

So now that I am starting to pull out of my funk, I am starting to think about my health once again.  I really want to use this year to focus on how to better myself both mentally and physically.  I have turned in my grad school application and I hope to use the first day of school in the fall as a goal point for me.  I want to feel more confident in my skin by then so I can focus on school.

Back in October, Ellie, Julia and I completed our first 5K's together and we discussed getting back together in the spring and that ball is now rolling.  We will be gathering in Alexandria (Julia's town) for the George Washington Parkway Classic 5K.  We have 10 weeks until race day...so 10 weeks for me to get back into shape.  Of course, I have already come up with a plan.  I am going to spend the first two weeks taking it easy and just walking.  I've found an indoor track at a local community center that I am going to use during the cold days.  Also, I've downloaded a few new apps (created by my Couch to 5K App people) that are 10 week programs for crunches, push ups, and squats.  I plan to start those this week.  Then in two weeks I am going to start the 5K app over and will skip ahead on days if I feel up for it.  But honestly, I have been relatively inactive since the last 5K, so I will likely need to start from the beginning.  Not to mention that I am looking forward to getting back to my 2000 meals earned by October 2014. I've almost earned 100 so far...many more to go!

That's the plan.  I hope the activity will help my spirits and will reactivate my desire to eat all natural and organic foods.  Wish me luck.