I hate stairs. I have hated them my entire life. I have done everything I can to constantly avoid them. Living in Denver hasn't made it any easier. Where in other cities I could walk up two flights of stairs and be slightly out of breath, in Denver I walk up one flight and feel as if I've walked up two. Two flights feels like four and three flights...well...get me an ambulance or an oxygen tank please. Adjusting to the higher altitude of Denver is a challenge that may take years.
So why, do you ask, do I love going to Red Rocks? Not only is it an amphitheater comprised mostly of stairs, but the altitude is higher than Denver making each set of 8 stairs difficult for me. This morning Joe and I headed up there and he wanted to walk the trail while I wanted to walk the bleachers/steps. Normally when we do this, he drives me to the top of the amphitheater and then drives down to the Trading Post for the start of his trail. Starting at the top, I typically walk all the way down (65 rows) and then begin my slow climb back up while I take it 6 steps at a time and crisscross over the bleacher rows.
Today I felt like I needed more of a challenge, so I asked Joe not to drop me at the top, but instead that I would get out at the Trading Post with him, which starts below the bottom of the amphitheater. On that side of the amphitheater there is a ramp. A dreaded, not to ADA code, massive ramp. I had to walk this ramp three years ago for a concert and I hated every minute of it. So for some reason, today I wanted to face this ramp head on...tackle it to show it who had the power. Me. Not it.
My workout began below the ramp, so I had to first walk up a hill to get to the ramp and then up I started at a slow, even pace. At about half way, my polar heart monitor started beeping, warning me that I was over my THR, so I stopped and took in the view. The sun was quite brilliant today, but the breeze up that high was nice. Once my THR was back within my acceptable range, I made it up the rest of the ramp. And to be honest it wasn't as bad as I remembered it! Don't get me wrong, I was breathing heavily, but it just seemed better this time than three years ago.
After the ramp is about 45 stairs until you are at the (almost) base of the theater. (I say almost because it actually plants you about 6-8 bleachers up which were blocked off for a concert set up.) I had made it! Before I went up the ramp I told myself that if I was too tired, I wouldn't walk the bleachers and would head back down. But getting there and seeing the other people working out inspired me to keep going. So up I went, 6 stairs/3 bleachers at a time crisscrossing my way to the top. I also mixed in 10 sets of 10 wall/planter push ups as I ascended and felt awesome. Once I was triumphantly at the top, in no way I had ever done before, I unceremoniously began my descent.
I made it back to the car under 45 minutes...all of which were in THR except for the minute I was over my THR. It felt so amazing to tackle that ramp and those stairs. It made me feel so strong and powerful. I can't wait to try it again next week and see how I have progressed. My reward...cane sugar lemonade. So delicious.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Moving Forward
So it is over 24 hours from my last post, so I thought you should have an update on my progress. Since I last spoke to you, I have accomplished the following things:
- I have created a dairy-free meal plan for the week. Here is a picture of my menu board.
- I went back to aquatics today and Joe joined me. I was welcomed back by many of my fellow classmates, which was nice. The instructor teased me and gave me a hard time about my absence. Apparently the class was much harder than it has been in a few weeks and I think he did that for me. He kept saying, "This is what you get when you take 3-4 weeks off!" All in all it was a great class and I was in THR for 30 minutes. I can't wait to go back on Friday!
- I missed my opportunity to start strength training yesterday because of work, meal planning, grocery shopping, and a night out with friends, but I plan to do both upper and lower body strength today. (But after I recover from my hard aquatics class!)
- All meals will be cooked/made at home today! So last night our outing was "Film on the Rocks" at Red Rocks. The movie was "Blues Brothers" and it was a blast. Joe and I met friends in the parking lot for some pre-movie tailgating. Our friends brought a grill and cooked up brats and hamburgers. I had a brat and guess what? It didn't hurt my stomach! Woo! I made a salad and we brought some chips as well. All the food was awesome and the night under stars was lovely. We even got to see a fox in the parking lot!
- My new salad obsession that I brought last night and had just now for lunch is a mix of spring lettuce and spinach, strawberries, sliced almonds, hulled sunflower seeds, and balsamic vinaigrette. It is a variation on my salad that has chunks of fresh mozzarella. I was worried that I wouldn't enjoy it as much without the cheese, but the sunflower seeds give it an extra crunch with the almonds and it is really tasty! I don't even miss the cheese. And it was a hit last night as well. Score. New summer salad.
- For the past week, I have been feeling quite bloated after dinner and I haven't been sure why. I hadn't had any dairy and not too much gluten (not that I am watching gluten, I just know it can make some bloated). Those nights I was bloated were nights out at restaurants, so it is hard to say what the culprit was. Last night, I was not at all bloated and I wonder if it has anything to do with not eating at a restaurant. I am really not sure, but we will see how I feel today after eating at home all day. I don't know what the point is here, just that I am keeping an eye on it and trying to figure out what's going on.
- For lunch, I made my Beef and Bean chili (recipe on the side of this page), but I substituted the beef with ground turkey and the beef broth with veggie broth. Joe is enjoying it and says he doesn't miss the beef. Just one more step in limiting our red meat. Also, I don't feel like I need to load it with cheese or sour cream, which I have done in the past because it is just so yummy as is. Bonus.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Time To Be Selfish
I know I have had quite an advantage over others when it comes to trying out and practicing my new life style. As someone who works from home, I am able to make my own schedule and make time to fit in my workouts and healthy eating. After a few months of being able to focus on me, me, me, I finally got a taste of what this new life style has been like for others as they try to fit it into their hectic lives.
My trip out of town was followed by two weeks of Joe's awesome sisters being in town followed by a week of my good friend, Laura, being in town for a convention. Add that all up and it has been almost an entire month of me not being able to be totally selfish in my time and eating habits. I think I have eaten out almost every day in the last month. I did cook a few dinners at home when Joe's sisters were in town, but ultimately, we jam packed their visit and were often out exploring Colorado and too busy to cook at home.
During this time, I was able to see my relationship for cheese with what it really was as I think I tend to eat it more in restaurants than I do in my own cooking. And I was able to live in a no-diet way and allow myself what I wanted when I wanted. So I have also been practicing not making myself feel guilty about those choices. I have eaten and let it go. (Still my favorite practice.) Unfortunately, I have also really neglected my activities. Yes, there was some hiking and white water rafting mixed in our adventures, but they weren't always daily and I am starting to feel the effects of being inactive.
Yesterday, I took Laura to Red Rocks and we walked the stairs and bleachers from the bottom to the top and did 100 wall push-ups. It felt great! And it really got me excited to get back into the game. I am ready to start some new routines and to get back into some old ones. The kitchen is calling me and the fridge is saying, "Feed me! I'm empty!" So today, with all guests sadly gone, I am reclaiming my selfishness and restarting my new habits.
My Plan:
My trip out of town was followed by two weeks of Joe's awesome sisters being in town followed by a week of my good friend, Laura, being in town for a convention. Add that all up and it has been almost an entire month of me not being able to be totally selfish in my time and eating habits. I think I have eaten out almost every day in the last month. I did cook a few dinners at home when Joe's sisters were in town, but ultimately, we jam packed their visit and were often out exploring Colorado and too busy to cook at home.
During this time, I was able to see my relationship for cheese with what it really was as I think I tend to eat it more in restaurants than I do in my own cooking. And I was able to live in a no-diet way and allow myself what I wanted when I wanted. So I have also been practicing not making myself feel guilty about those choices. I have eaten and let it go. (Still my favorite practice.) Unfortunately, I have also really neglected my activities. Yes, there was some hiking and white water rafting mixed in our adventures, but they weren't always daily and I am starting to feel the effects of being inactive.
Yesterday, I took Laura to Red Rocks and we walked the stairs and bleachers from the bottom to the top and did 100 wall push-ups. It felt great! And it really got me excited to get back into the game. I am ready to start some new routines and to get back into some old ones. The kitchen is calling me and the fridge is saying, "Feed me! I'm empty!" So today, with all guests sadly gone, I am reclaiming my selfishness and restarting my new habits.
My Plan:
- Create meal plan and shopping list for the rest of the week.
- Research new 'cheese-free' recipes to make at home.
- Go back to aquatics tomorrow morning. (I'm sure they've missed me!)
- Plan to walk the stairs/bleachers at Red Rocks 2x a week. (Tuesday and Thursday?)
- Get back to my strength training. (Alternate upper body and lower body workouts starting with upper body today.)
- Starting tomorrow (because of dinner plans with friends tonight), do not eat out of the house until at least next Monday or Tuesday. (Save money!)
I would also like to point out that I really enjoyed my conversations with Laura while she was here. She follows a vegetarian and mostly vegan diet and she had some good insight and advice for me in my food struggles. She suggested that once I have been dairy free for a few weeks to then test if it is purely lactose that I am sensitive too, or casein as well. There are cheeses out there with casein, but not lactose that I should try. They are tastier than the totally vegan kinds and I will be able to find good substitutes with casein cheeses. She also picked out a butter substitute for me that is vegan and really good! It melts and tastes quite lovely on my english muffins. So thank you Laura for the inspiration and ideas!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Inner Struggle, Struggle, Struggle
I put the word 'struggle' in the title of this post three times so you can really understand the gravity of my inner struggles. You're welcome.
One of the core things we were taught at Green Mountain was to live our lives away from diet mentality. Eat what we want, when we want, but be mindful and stop eating when we are full. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it is until you start paying closer attention to how certain foods effect you.
I have been quite enjoying the fact that I can have a cupcake at any point in my life. Never again will they be taken away or forbidden. The freedom of knowing I can have a cupcake at any time is so wonderful. It takes the pressure off of me having to eat one that appears in front of me at any moment. I have the ability to look at that moment and say, "Nope, not hungry. I'll pass." Or "Heck yeah! Bring on the personal sized cake of awesomesauce." Every moment is a choice. My next one can be a good one. (Or bad one! It's my life!)
I have learned that to deprive myself of a type of food is detrimental to my path to health. If I really want a food, I should just eat it and let it go because otherwise, I won't be satisfied with the 'healthier' option I choose and may continue to overeat to compensate for unsatisfactory choice. I could save myself unneeded calories and headache if I just ate what my mind wanted.
And there in lies the problem. What my 'mind' wants. Not what my body wants or needs. They didn't quite go over this struggle at Green Mountain (if they did, I don't remember because I was too excited about the 'eat whatever you want' teaching). Over the last 3.5 months, I have been following my 'mind' a bunch. I have been enjoying my more fruits and veggies, but I have also been enjoying my natural cookies and cheese and the occasional non-organic, possibly fried treat.
You guys have been with me as I have come to the conclusions about certain foods:
One of the core things we were taught at Green Mountain was to live our lives away from diet mentality. Eat what we want, when we want, but be mindful and stop eating when we are full. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, it is until you start paying closer attention to how certain foods effect you.
I have been quite enjoying the fact that I can have a cupcake at any point in my life. Never again will they be taken away or forbidden. The freedom of knowing I can have a cupcake at any time is so wonderful. It takes the pressure off of me having to eat one that appears in front of me at any moment. I have the ability to look at that moment and say, "Nope, not hungry. I'll pass." Or "Heck yeah! Bring on the personal sized cake of awesomesauce." Every moment is a choice. My next one can be a good one. (Or bad one! It's my life!)
I have learned that to deprive myself of a type of food is detrimental to my path to health. If I really want a food, I should just eat it and let it go because otherwise, I won't be satisfied with the 'healthier' option I choose and may continue to overeat to compensate for unsatisfactory choice. I could save myself unneeded calories and headache if I just ate what my mind wanted.
And there in lies the problem. What my 'mind' wants. Not what my body wants or needs. They didn't quite go over this struggle at Green Mountain (if they did, I don't remember because I was too excited about the 'eat whatever you want' teaching). Over the last 3.5 months, I have been following my 'mind' a bunch. I have been enjoying my more fruits and veggies, but I have also been enjoying my natural cookies and cheese and the occasional non-organic, possibly fried treat.
You guys have been with me as I have come to the conclusions about certain foods:
Fried Chicken Fingers = Nausea and Upset Body for 24 hours
Hot Dogs = Severe Stomach Cramps
Cheese = Mucus, Coughing, Death by Toilet
But, but....I REALLY WANT THOSE THINGS!!! Green Mountain told me I could have them! I just have to be mindful and stop eating when I am full! But isn't mindfulness, by definition, the act of paying attention to how my body reacts while I eat? I have been focusing so much on trying to be mindful to hunger cues that I have unintentionally started paying closer attention to other ways my body reacts. Stomach cramps, nausea, mucus...
Any smart person, and I really hope to be one some day, would immediately make the connection of the bad side effects and just wouldn't want the items anymore. But I can't quite seem to do that. I smell a hot dog and I salivate...I don't grab my stomach thinking about what could become of it once said hot dog is consumed. As you learned from my blog yesterday, I have been suspicious about dairy for two years now, but have shrugged it off because it is so damn good. Shouldn't I have stopped cold turkey the moment I made the connection that cheese = death by toilet? Who wants to suffer like that? Am I a masochist? Why would I continue with behaviors that harm my body?
Oh wait...haven't I been overweight my entire life? Haven't I struggled to keep up with people, breathe properly, and fit into hip clothes? Why wasn't that enough to make me change my ways? Am I lazy? Unmotivated? Do I secretly hate myself and think I should be punished? I honestly don't think I can answer 'yes' to any of those last three questions. So it's got to be something else. How do I change the way I think to make my 'go to' question to myself always be, "What can I do at this moment to help my body feel great?"
Cheese, hot dogs, and fried foods certainly won't be the answer to that question ever. I have become so stuck in my ways; entrenched in the Standard American Diet (SAD), that I have allowed myself to overlook basic things like feeling good. Bloating, gas, mucus, stomach cramps have become my normal. As I suspect it has for most Americans. (Did you know that 75% of adults are lactose intolerant? And that about 80% of them ignore their symptoms? We only have the lactose enzyme in our bodies as babies. As we grow, the enzyme goes away and we are no longer able to digest lactose.)
So the answer to my struggle goes something like this:
- Constantly ask myself "What can I do at this moment to help my body feel great?" Repeat often like an affirmation until it becomes part of how I naturally speak to myself.
- For now, cut out dairy, hot dogs, and fried food completely until I can honestly make the body/mind connection that alerts me these foods are bad. If I deny myself these foods long enough, my cravings will go away.
- Make the connection! Make my mind alert me of these bad foods instinctively. Such as when I see heroin (okay, I've never actually seen heroin)...my mind immediately sends up a red flashing siren in my brain to stay away. (Just say no!) Couldn't it do that with foods that make me feel terrible too? If I begin a visualization regime (Jon Gabriel has a method in his book to help me with this) then eventually I can make it instinctual.
- And finally, find alternatives to help me feel satisfied without feeling denied. As I explore more and more healthy, natural, organic foods, I find myself enjoying them more than my more processed or pesticide-laced counter part. I no longer want romaine or iceberg lettuce. I want spinach! I can't eat non-organic grapes because the pesticides (no matter how much I wash them) make my mouth itch, but the organic ones are heavenly. I would rather have my homemade chicken nuggets from fresh chicken breast than the mystery, fried food meat that I get at restaurants.
So as you can see, I am reforming my mind daily. It is going to take me a long time to completely institute my four steps above...but I'm getting there. My path may be rocky at times, but it is long and I am slowly learning how to pave it.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Oh, Cheese.
I have a very complicated Love/Hate relationship with cheese. I love it, it hates me and that leaves me feeling used and empty. Why can't it return my love? I have given it so much time and energy and praise in the last 32 years. Why must it abuse me so?
About two years ago I made a connection with cheese and my stress. After much trial and error (over 30 years?) I came to realize that when I was super stressed at work, my body reacted extremely poorly to cheese and dairy. What does that mean exactly? Well, without getting too graphic, I have extreme cramps followed by a long horrible visit to the bathroom. In really bad cases I find myself wondering if this is what death feels like. It ain't pretty.
So armed with my new connection, I stayed away from all dairy while I was stressed out. When I wasn't feeling very stressed, I ate away and enjoyed my cheese like normal. If I got into a habit of eating it and a stressful day came up then BAM! regret would immediately set in and I would be reminded of my 'special' dietary needs.
Since my stressful Tut job ended back in January, I have been living a cheese-loving filled existence. Almost six months feeling free to eat as much dairy as I want. Isn't it great that I have figured out my cheese triggers? Whoopee! As long as I never have another stressful day in my life, I am good to go.
"Not so fast there, Crawford!" I hear you saying. "That doesn't quite make sense. Are you sure you aren't having other symptoms that just aren't as extreme that you may be ignoring?" "Ha ha!" I scoff. "You don't know what you're <cough, cough> talking <cough> about!" Sigh...now that I am more in tune with my body and paying attention to how different foods effect me, I am seeing those 'small' symptoms. And guess what? They aren't that small!
I am currently reading and enjoying, "Crazy, Sexy Diet" by Kris Carr. She has a chapter about all animal products and goes into detail about mucus causing dairy. That's right "mucus causing". Yuck. As with every new health book I read, I try to take all advice with a grain of salt and slowly come up with my own decisions. So I read this chapter a few days ago and didn't think much about it except to think about possibly decreasing my cheese intake.
Fast forward to tonight's dinner. With Joe's sisters in town the last 2 weeks, we have been eating out a lot and I have been neglecting my veggies. So tonight for dinner I made huge salads. They had strawberries, mozzarella, sliced almonds, and balsamic vinaigrette. Joe's salad had turkey as well, but I wasn't feeling it. The salad was delicious I was feeling good. Until about an hour after I had finished eating.
It was then I began to feel the mucus rise in my throat. I started to cough. My nose began to run. My stomach cramps returned and I had to book it to the bathroom for one of my old fashioned "Am I going to die?" experiences. Now, first let me say that I am not stressed. I am feeling pretty good about life. So then why the stress-induced lactose intolerance episodes? I think it was to wake me up to those first three symptoms that I have obviously been ignoring for WAY too long.
The mucus rising, the coughing, and the runny nose. I have been eating a lot of cheese for the past three weeks and I have been very snotty...not in a snooty sort of way. I felt great before dinner and with the chance to focus on my food once again without travel and guests to distract me, I was fully aware of what was happening to me. My stomach reacting as it did was my final wake up call. My body is not designed to handle dairy. Boo.
Tomorrow I will continue this thought with my current inner struggle of: How can I live a 'no diet', 'no depriving' lifestyle if what my mind wants is something my body does not?
About two years ago I made a connection with cheese and my stress. After much trial and error (over 30 years?) I came to realize that when I was super stressed at work, my body reacted extremely poorly to cheese and dairy. What does that mean exactly? Well, without getting too graphic, I have extreme cramps followed by a long horrible visit to the bathroom. In really bad cases I find myself wondering if this is what death feels like. It ain't pretty.
So armed with my new connection, I stayed away from all dairy while I was stressed out. When I wasn't feeling very stressed, I ate away and enjoyed my cheese like normal. If I got into a habit of eating it and a stressful day came up then BAM! regret would immediately set in and I would be reminded of my 'special' dietary needs.
Since my stressful Tut job ended back in January, I have been living a cheese-loving filled existence. Almost six months feeling free to eat as much dairy as I want. Isn't it great that I have figured out my cheese triggers? Whoopee! As long as I never have another stressful day in my life, I am good to go.
"Not so fast there, Crawford!" I hear you saying. "That doesn't quite make sense. Are you sure you aren't having other symptoms that just aren't as extreme that you may be ignoring?" "Ha ha!" I scoff. "You don't know what you're <cough, cough> talking <cough> about!" Sigh...now that I am more in tune with my body and paying attention to how different foods effect me, I am seeing those 'small' symptoms. And guess what? They aren't that small!
I am currently reading and enjoying, "Crazy, Sexy Diet" by Kris Carr. She has a chapter about all animal products and goes into detail about mucus causing dairy. That's right "mucus causing". Yuck. As with every new health book I read, I try to take all advice with a grain of salt and slowly come up with my own decisions. So I read this chapter a few days ago and didn't think much about it except to think about possibly decreasing my cheese intake.
Fast forward to tonight's dinner. With Joe's sisters in town the last 2 weeks, we have been eating out a lot and I have been neglecting my veggies. So tonight for dinner I made huge salads. They had strawberries, mozzarella, sliced almonds, and balsamic vinaigrette. Joe's salad had turkey as well, but I wasn't feeling it. The salad was delicious I was feeling good. Until about an hour after I had finished eating.
It was then I began to feel the mucus rise in my throat. I started to cough. My nose began to run. My stomach cramps returned and I had to book it to the bathroom for one of my old fashioned "Am I going to die?" experiences. Now, first let me say that I am not stressed. I am feeling pretty good about life. So then why the stress-induced lactose intolerance episodes? I think it was to wake me up to those first three symptoms that I have obviously been ignoring for WAY too long.
The mucus rising, the coughing, and the runny nose. I have been eating a lot of cheese for the past three weeks and I have been very snotty...not in a snooty sort of way. I felt great before dinner and with the chance to focus on my food once again without travel and guests to distract me, I was fully aware of what was happening to me. My stomach reacting as it did was my final wake up call. My body is not designed to handle dairy. Boo.
Tomorrow I will continue this thought with my current inner struggle of: How can I live a 'no diet', 'no depriving' lifestyle if what my mind wants is something my body does not?
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Baseball=Hot Dogs
I am currently at a Colorado Rockies game having a great time. A challenge I have encountered here is the smell of hot dogs! This while stadium smells delicious! As I've said before, I love hot dogs. I've enjoyed them at many ball games throughout my life. It's become habit.
Before we got here, I gave myself a little pep talk and told myself to find options other than hot dogs because when I had a hot dog two weeks ago, I had quite the stomach ache. I figured once I got to my seat and away from the concession stand, I wouldn't be tempted anymore. Little did I know that the whole place would smell so awesome for the whole game!
But I am resisting. I just keep reminding myself that I do not want to spend half of this game doubled over with cramps. So I've had large pretzel and I have my eye on a frozen strawberry lemonade. I will win this hot dog battle today!
Here is a pic of me in my 'L' shirt that I bought yesterday and my new Rockies hat. 
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Colorful Colorado
With Joe's sisters in town, we have been quite active exploring Colorful Colorado. Today we went White Water Rafting on Clear Creek! We went on Class 4 rapids which are apparently beginner rapids.
The first challenge of the day was getting into a wet suit. Thankfully, the rafting guides help to pick out what size we should be and warn us that it is hard to get on. My wet suit was about a foot too long, and I was able to get it over my shoulders easily. The challenge came when I had to zip it up. I would get it zipped a little and POP! it would unzip just like that. Finally, with the assistance of Natalie, I was able to get it fully zipped.
Once the wet suit was on, the wet jacket, life preserver, and helmet were fitted. I was told that if I could breathe easily then it wasn't correct. So my lack of breath was a good thing apparently. After some instruction and boat placement, we were on the rapids. I'm not going to lie...I was a little scared. I had been rafting before, but it was 13 years ago and I was much lighter. When I focused on the commands we were given, it helped me to not be scared. I knew that if I paddled as hard as I could we would be safer than if I didn't paddle at all. So I paddled as hard as I could and I was thankful for my strength training because I felt awesome paddling with all my might.
At the end of our run, we had a small window to get our boat to the side of the creek to get out and on the bus before we kept going down the creek to the Advanced rapids. No thanks. So when we missed the spot we were supposed to stop, Joe and I pushed our paddles hard in the water to slow our boat down so we could get caught by the other raft guides. It was exhilarating and a little scary! I did not want to go down the 10' drop that we were told laid beyond our exit site.
After the run, it was great to get that wet suit off and I think it was grateful to get off me because once I unzipped it, it fell right to my knees! Before we left the rafting place, I decided to buy a tee shirt to commemorate the event. I picked out an XL like normal and tried it on over my tank top. Joe said that it looked too big! I didn't believe him, but decided to try on the L and it fit! I couldn't believe it! I am excited to wear it tomorrow because it makes me feel awesome. :0)
The first challenge of the day was getting into a wet suit. Thankfully, the rafting guides help to pick out what size we should be and warn us that it is hard to get on. My wet suit was about a foot too long, and I was able to get it over my shoulders easily. The challenge came when I had to zip it up. I would get it zipped a little and POP! it would unzip just like that. Finally, with the assistance of Natalie, I was able to get it fully zipped.
Once the wet suit was on, the wet jacket, life preserver, and helmet were fitted. I was told that if I could breathe easily then it wasn't correct. So my lack of breath was a good thing apparently. After some instruction and boat placement, we were on the rapids. I'm not going to lie...I was a little scared. I had been rafting before, but it was 13 years ago and I was much lighter. When I focused on the commands we were given, it helped me to not be scared. I knew that if I paddled as hard as I could we would be safer than if I didn't paddle at all. So I paddled as hard as I could and I was thankful for my strength training because I felt awesome paddling with all my might.
At the end of our run, we had a small window to get our boat to the side of the creek to get out and on the bus before we kept going down the creek to the Advanced rapids. No thanks. So when we missed the spot we were supposed to stop, Joe and I pushed our paddles hard in the water to slow our boat down so we could get caught by the other raft guides. It was exhilarating and a little scary! I did not want to go down the 10' drop that we were told laid beyond our exit site.
After the run, it was great to get that wet suit off and I think it was grateful to get off me because once I unzipped it, it fell right to my knees! Before we left the rafting place, I decided to buy a tee shirt to commemorate the event. I picked out an XL like normal and tried it on over my tank top. Joe said that it looked too big! I didn't believe him, but decided to try on the L and it fit! I couldn't believe it! I am excited to wear it tomorrow because it makes me feel awesome. :0)
Monday, June 10, 2013
Old Habits Are Hard to Break
I have been noticing lately that while I am eating healthy and being more active than I was before, some of my old habits are really hard to break. One of them being overeating. Eating past the point of full. When I overeat, I feel terrible. So one would think that would be enough to make me stop. I know if I eat too much then I will regret it and feel lethargic and terrible. So then why do I keep doing it?
Obviously it is a habit that is so ingrained in me that I don't realize I am doing it when I do it. Where does it come from? I have never been a person who has ever had a lack of food. I'm not like my cat who overeats because in the first 3 months of his life he had to fight for food with his greedy kitten brothers. I was hardly fighting for food growing up...my sisters liked to share.
Here is my theory. My diet mentality has lead me to be an over-eater. I think I went on my first 'real' diet when I was in fifth grade. Diet in the traditional American sense of the word often means restricting the intake of food. I learned very early on that if there is good food in front of me, I better eat as much as possible because I could be on my next diet soon. This is a classic example of why diets don't work in general. I am not alone in my habits. Many people go on a diet, restrict their calorie intake, deny themselves whole food groups, do great for a few weeks, and then cannot sustain the restrictions, so they 'fall off the wagon'. What happens when someone has fallen off and the wagon keeps rolling on without them? They go back to those foods they had been denied for those weeks. Didn't have any carbs? Bring them on! No fats? Yum! I want more! No sugars? Gimmie that candy bar! And we start to eat like there is no tomorrow. We have the euphoric feeling of, "Oh yeah, I am not on a diet at this moment...so I can have WHATEVER I WANT!" The overeating begins because deep down we know that we will have to start another diet any day now and we may never have that food EVER again because the next diet will be the one we stick too. Can you imagine never having another cupcake in your life? Isn't that depressing? So I better enjoy these 4 cupcakes now before I can never have them again. I will have to remember these 4 for the rest of my LIFE.
Fast forward to my situation now. I am no longer dieting. I am eating what I want when I want. I have learned the value of no longer eating fried, processed, sugary foods because for some reason, those ideas have stuck in my head quite clearly and I don't want to deal with the ramifications of my stomach being mad at me. I really enjoy what I eat these days. I do not feel deprived at all, but when I get a plateful of good food in front of me, I still have that instinct to eat it all up as fast as I can. The other day, I put together a bowl of strawberries and grapes and I was kind of hungry, so I made a huge bowl. Half way through I think I realized I'd had enough, but for some reason I couldn't stop! I had to finish off the whole bowl until my stomach really hurt. Now I know what you are saying, "Well, Beth...it was just fruit. Don't beat yourself up about it!" I don't beat myself up about it, it just worried me that I can so easily ignore my full signals. What was wrong with covering that fruit up and eating it later when I was hungry again? I don't know. At the time it didn't seem to be an option.
This morning I went to get brunch at a place called Dozens. They often have big portions, so I built my own meal. I had a warm cinnamon scone, two eggs scrambled, and a side of fruit. I noticed my fullness signal after half the scone, one egg, and half of the fruit...but did I stop? No! I just thought, "Oh man, this scone is delicious! I have to eat it all!" And honestly, the thought of, "I can take this home and enjoy it later" crossed my mind, but I ignored it and kept eating. After we left the restaurant, I think I said out loud, "Ugh, I am so full" more than once. Annoying to those who were with me and annoying to my too stuffed stomach.
I really need to slow down my eating and focus on my hunger signals. Any delicious food can be saved. There is no rule stating that I can't eat that food as soon as an hour later when I decide I am hungry again, right? What can I do to stop myself defaulting on my overeating habit? Because let's be honest, I love food! And I want to eat all the time! But if I do that, I feel terrible. How do I enjoy perfect portions for me? I think when I go out to eat, I need to start asking for a second plate or a to go box right away. At brunch today, I totally could have put half of the scone, fruit, and one egg, in a box, closed it up and would have been totally satisfied with the food in front of me. Then if later in the day my stomach said it could use that half of the scone I saved, then I could have enjoyed it! Really, I would have loved to have saved that half of the meal until tomorrow and I would have been really excited to have a scone tomorrow morning.
So my focus this week: SLOW DOWN while eating. DECIDE what I won't likely eat before I start eating and get it out of my sight so I don't pick at it and mindlessly eat it. FOCUS on my hunger signals.
Should I write these on the back of my hand so I can keep them in the fore front of my mind? Maybe I will put an alarm on my phone with these rules that will go off when it is time to eat....
Obviously it is a habit that is so ingrained in me that I don't realize I am doing it when I do it. Where does it come from? I have never been a person who has ever had a lack of food. I'm not like my cat who overeats because in the first 3 months of his life he had to fight for food with his greedy kitten brothers. I was hardly fighting for food growing up...my sisters liked to share.
Here is my theory. My diet mentality has lead me to be an over-eater. I think I went on my first 'real' diet when I was in fifth grade. Diet in the traditional American sense of the word often means restricting the intake of food. I learned very early on that if there is good food in front of me, I better eat as much as possible because I could be on my next diet soon. This is a classic example of why diets don't work in general. I am not alone in my habits. Many people go on a diet, restrict their calorie intake, deny themselves whole food groups, do great for a few weeks, and then cannot sustain the restrictions, so they 'fall off the wagon'. What happens when someone has fallen off and the wagon keeps rolling on without them? They go back to those foods they had been denied for those weeks. Didn't have any carbs? Bring them on! No fats? Yum! I want more! No sugars? Gimmie that candy bar! And we start to eat like there is no tomorrow. We have the euphoric feeling of, "Oh yeah, I am not on a diet at this moment...so I can have WHATEVER I WANT!" The overeating begins because deep down we know that we will have to start another diet any day now and we may never have that food EVER again because the next diet will be the one we stick too. Can you imagine never having another cupcake in your life? Isn't that depressing? So I better enjoy these 4 cupcakes now before I can never have them again. I will have to remember these 4 for the rest of my LIFE.
Fast forward to my situation now. I am no longer dieting. I am eating what I want when I want. I have learned the value of no longer eating fried, processed, sugary foods because for some reason, those ideas have stuck in my head quite clearly and I don't want to deal with the ramifications of my stomach being mad at me. I really enjoy what I eat these days. I do not feel deprived at all, but when I get a plateful of good food in front of me, I still have that instinct to eat it all up as fast as I can. The other day, I put together a bowl of strawberries and grapes and I was kind of hungry, so I made a huge bowl. Half way through I think I realized I'd had enough, but for some reason I couldn't stop! I had to finish off the whole bowl until my stomach really hurt. Now I know what you are saying, "Well, Beth...it was just fruit. Don't beat yourself up about it!" I don't beat myself up about it, it just worried me that I can so easily ignore my full signals. What was wrong with covering that fruit up and eating it later when I was hungry again? I don't know. At the time it didn't seem to be an option.
This morning I went to get brunch at a place called Dozens. They often have big portions, so I built my own meal. I had a warm cinnamon scone, two eggs scrambled, and a side of fruit. I noticed my fullness signal after half the scone, one egg, and half of the fruit...but did I stop? No! I just thought, "Oh man, this scone is delicious! I have to eat it all!" And honestly, the thought of, "I can take this home and enjoy it later" crossed my mind, but I ignored it and kept eating. After we left the restaurant, I think I said out loud, "Ugh, I am so full" more than once. Annoying to those who were with me and annoying to my too stuffed stomach.
I really need to slow down my eating and focus on my hunger signals. Any delicious food can be saved. There is no rule stating that I can't eat that food as soon as an hour later when I decide I am hungry again, right? What can I do to stop myself defaulting on my overeating habit? Because let's be honest, I love food! And I want to eat all the time! But if I do that, I feel terrible. How do I enjoy perfect portions for me? I think when I go out to eat, I need to start asking for a second plate or a to go box right away. At brunch today, I totally could have put half of the scone, fruit, and one egg, in a box, closed it up and would have been totally satisfied with the food in front of me. Then if later in the day my stomach said it could use that half of the scone I saved, then I could have enjoyed it! Really, I would have loved to have saved that half of the meal until tomorrow and I would have been really excited to have a scone tomorrow morning.
So my focus this week: SLOW DOWN while eating. DECIDE what I won't likely eat before I start eating and get it out of my sight so I don't pick at it and mindlessly eat it. FOCUS on my hunger signals.
Should I write these on the back of my hand so I can keep them in the fore front of my mind? Maybe I will put an alarm on my phone with these rules that will go off when it is time to eat....
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Feels Good to be Home
Though I have a bit of a cold, I feel great being back home. I had my groceries delivered early Wednesday morning so I could start my week out right. Joe's sisters are staying with us for two weeks, so we are getting some great exercise touring around the city and mountains. While this means we will tend to eat out more these two weeks, I have been finding some really great salads at the restaurants and I am going to try to cook at home most nights.
This morning, I pulled out my jeans and thought they were looking pretty bad. They are close to being completely worn out, so I pulled a suitcase out of my closet and sorted through some old jeans. I tried on a pair that are a size smaller than my other pair and they fit great! There is also a pair of black jeans that are two sizes down that I might be able to fit into soon! It's pretty awesome to go 'shopping' in my old pile of clothes!
Now, these new jeans are a bit out of style and have a wicked flare at the bottom, but that's alright. I have never been much of a fashionista. And who knows, I may not be wearing them for long anyway!
Also, I bought the book, "Crazy, Sexy, Diet" by Kris Carr, another expert from "Hungry for Change". The book looks pretty awesome, so I am excited to get into it. I look forward to reviewing it for you! I love reading all of these books because each one energizes me in a different way. My momentum is continuing and I don't see any turn back in sight.
This morning, I pulled out my jeans and thought they were looking pretty bad. They are close to being completely worn out, so I pulled a suitcase out of my closet and sorted through some old jeans. I tried on a pair that are a size smaller than my other pair and they fit great! There is also a pair of black jeans that are two sizes down that I might be able to fit into soon! It's pretty awesome to go 'shopping' in my old pile of clothes!
Now, these new jeans are a bit out of style and have a wicked flare at the bottom, but that's alright. I have never been much of a fashionista. And who knows, I may not be wearing them for long anyway!
Also, I bought the book, "Crazy, Sexy, Diet" by Kris Carr, another expert from "Hungry for Change". The book looks pretty awesome, so I am excited to get into it. I look forward to reviewing it for you! I love reading all of these books because each one energizes me in a different way. My momentum is continuing and I don't see any turn back in sight.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Winding Down
My trip home to Indianapolis is winding down and I am spending a day with my Dad relaxing in Mulberry, IN. It's so peaceful up here. We've been alternating naps and reading. It's the perfect end to the very busy trip home. I am happy to say that I was able to see everyone (with a few exceptions, of course) that I had hoped too. Plus because we arrived into town early, we got to fit in some people we weren't expecting to see, which was a nice surprise.
Many challenges arise when coming back to Indianapolis for such a short amount of time. First of which is my sleeping. It's always hard to sleep in places that aren't my bed, but on these trips, I magnify that difficulty by only sleeping in one location for two nights max. I am the ultimate bed hopper (get your mind out of the gutter) and will spend 2 nights on a air mattress in a basement, one night on a twin bed, two nights in my sister's old room, and then back to the air mattress, etc. It's the difficulty that arose when my parents moved out of Indianapolis leaving me to find alternate beds while in Indy and Mulberry. I am so thankful that I have so many hosts willing to put me up at any time. Especially when I don't tend to have much of a plan and just kind of show up with bags in hand. The really only bad side to all of this bed hopping is the destruction of my sleep patterns and trying to figure out where the bathroom is when I try to find it in my sleep. Sleep is extremely important in our health. It is that time when our bodies can shut down many functions and focus on repair. And because I haven't been eating as I would normally like, my body needs repair. I feel that this is one reason I don't feel refreshed in the mornings. My body is trying to process my days here and it just isn't given the chance to work at it's best. So I am often tired throughout my days.
Obviously the other main factor in my tiredness is my lack of exercise and my food intake. I really miss my hikes and aquatics and my afternoon spinach and juices. My time here is often spent driving from one location to the next so I can see everyone and have quality time with my friends and family. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way complaining about this. I love it. It's just good to know that I am more aware of how this lifestyle differs from my new way of living and I can clearly see how much better I feel when I am eating properly and exercising. This just makes me more and more anxious to get back on track and to be honest, that is a new and terrific feeling.
When I have strayed from 'diets' in the past, I have been able to say, "Well, I haven't followed my plan and I didn't really enjoy being on that plan, so I am not going to go back to it when I go home." This is the first time in my life where I am so excited to get back on my path. I think I may run back to it! I don't like feeling lethargic and semi-nauseous all day. I have seen the light and know now what it feels like to be doing things correctly.
Finally, I just want to say how thankful I am to my friends and family here who have congratulated me on my successes thus far. I love being able to connect to everyone through this blog and to then hear from so many people who are reading it and cheering me on. It's just further inspiration to keep going because I know I have so many people on my side. It's also so much fun to talk to others about changes they are making and to learn new ideas from them. Plus, I have some pretty awesome people in my life who have made it a point to serve me organic foods and bowls of fruits and veggies. After eating out so many times, it was great to have some meals and snacks that really energized me again.
I know I said, "finally" in the last paragraph, but I have remembered another point I wanted to make. I said in my last post that one reason this trip is difficult it the going out to my favorite restaurants here and finding out that foods I once loved don't love me back. (Did they ever?) Two examples stick out clearly in my mind because I wanted to pay close attention to them. The first I mentioned in the last post was Chicken Tenders. I grew up on these. There was a time in my life when my parents couldn't get me to eat anything else. I had ratings for them and knew where the best ones in town were. I was excited to have them again. That is no longer the case. If you recall, I honestly thought I was going to throw up after I had (what I would have classifies as) top quality tenders (in the past). I feel like I felt the repercussions of that meal for a minimum of 24 hours. Goodbye, Chicken Tenders. I will think of you fondly, but our time has come to an end.
The other food item is the hot dog. Oh man do I love hot dogs. Especially around this time of year. One evening my sister, Meg, made me an organic hot dog that was 'nitrate free'. Now I don't know much about nitrates and the difference between naturally occurring nitrates and those added to meats, but after a quick Google search, I see that it is a much debated topic that I really don't feel like researching at this moment. All I know is that after I ate that organic hot dog, I didn't feel bad at all. It was tasty and it didn't seem to upset my stomach. On Friday night, I went to a great cookout and had a regular hot dog...and well the story was different. The rest of my plate that night was fruit, spinach salad, and pasta salad, and I was only drinking water, so when I began to feel nauseous, I knew the culprit was likely the hot dog, sadly. Goodbye, hot dog. We've had some good times.
Another food I have always loved and tested a few times on this trip was my beloved grilled cheese sandwich. Thankfully no adverse reactions occurred and I will continue to enjoy them in moderation.
Tomorrow I will head to the store to stock up on food for our drive back to Denver. I hope to order some groceries online tonight as well so they arrive at my door Wednesday morning so I may be able to get right back on track. Can't wait!
Many challenges arise when coming back to Indianapolis for such a short amount of time. First of which is my sleeping. It's always hard to sleep in places that aren't my bed, but on these trips, I magnify that difficulty by only sleeping in one location for two nights max. I am the ultimate bed hopper (get your mind out of the gutter) and will spend 2 nights on a air mattress in a basement, one night on a twin bed, two nights in my sister's old room, and then back to the air mattress, etc. It's the difficulty that arose when my parents moved out of Indianapolis leaving me to find alternate beds while in Indy and Mulberry. I am so thankful that I have so many hosts willing to put me up at any time. Especially when I don't tend to have much of a plan and just kind of show up with bags in hand. The really only bad side to all of this bed hopping is the destruction of my sleep patterns and trying to figure out where the bathroom is when I try to find it in my sleep. Sleep is extremely important in our health. It is that time when our bodies can shut down many functions and focus on repair. And because I haven't been eating as I would normally like, my body needs repair. I feel that this is one reason I don't feel refreshed in the mornings. My body is trying to process my days here and it just isn't given the chance to work at it's best. So I am often tired throughout my days.
Obviously the other main factor in my tiredness is my lack of exercise and my food intake. I really miss my hikes and aquatics and my afternoon spinach and juices. My time here is often spent driving from one location to the next so I can see everyone and have quality time with my friends and family. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way complaining about this. I love it. It's just good to know that I am more aware of how this lifestyle differs from my new way of living and I can clearly see how much better I feel when I am eating properly and exercising. This just makes me more and more anxious to get back on track and to be honest, that is a new and terrific feeling.
When I have strayed from 'diets' in the past, I have been able to say, "Well, I haven't followed my plan and I didn't really enjoy being on that plan, so I am not going to go back to it when I go home." This is the first time in my life where I am so excited to get back on my path. I think I may run back to it! I don't like feeling lethargic and semi-nauseous all day. I have seen the light and know now what it feels like to be doing things correctly.
Finally, I just want to say how thankful I am to my friends and family here who have congratulated me on my successes thus far. I love being able to connect to everyone through this blog and to then hear from so many people who are reading it and cheering me on. It's just further inspiration to keep going because I know I have so many people on my side. It's also so much fun to talk to others about changes they are making and to learn new ideas from them. Plus, I have some pretty awesome people in my life who have made it a point to serve me organic foods and bowls of fruits and veggies. After eating out so many times, it was great to have some meals and snacks that really energized me again.
I know I said, "finally" in the last paragraph, but I have remembered another point I wanted to make. I said in my last post that one reason this trip is difficult it the going out to my favorite restaurants here and finding out that foods I once loved don't love me back. (Did they ever?) Two examples stick out clearly in my mind because I wanted to pay close attention to them. The first I mentioned in the last post was Chicken Tenders. I grew up on these. There was a time in my life when my parents couldn't get me to eat anything else. I had ratings for them and knew where the best ones in town were. I was excited to have them again. That is no longer the case. If you recall, I honestly thought I was going to throw up after I had (what I would have classifies as) top quality tenders (in the past). I feel like I felt the repercussions of that meal for a minimum of 24 hours. Goodbye, Chicken Tenders. I will think of you fondly, but our time has come to an end.
The other food item is the hot dog. Oh man do I love hot dogs. Especially around this time of year. One evening my sister, Meg, made me an organic hot dog that was 'nitrate free'. Now I don't know much about nitrates and the difference between naturally occurring nitrates and those added to meats, but after a quick Google search, I see that it is a much debated topic that I really don't feel like researching at this moment. All I know is that after I ate that organic hot dog, I didn't feel bad at all. It was tasty and it didn't seem to upset my stomach. On Friday night, I went to a great cookout and had a regular hot dog...and well the story was different. The rest of my plate that night was fruit, spinach salad, and pasta salad, and I was only drinking water, so when I began to feel nauseous, I knew the culprit was likely the hot dog, sadly. Goodbye, hot dog. We've had some good times.
Another food I have always loved and tested a few times on this trip was my beloved grilled cheese sandwich. Thankfully no adverse reactions occurred and I will continue to enjoy them in moderation.
Tomorrow I will head to the store to stock up on food for our drive back to Denver. I hope to order some groceries online tonight as well so they arrive at my door Wednesday morning so I may be able to get right back on track. Can't wait!
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